Hard coaches win!
Coaches often talk about enjoyment and values, but real progress depends on clarity, conviction, and the courage to coach hard.
Every so often, a piece of research circulates reminding us that young players value many things in sport before they value winning. Enjoyment, belonging, improvement and purpose tend to rank highly.
And yet, when you watch touchlines or sit in post-match reviews, it is obvious that not every coach has absorbed that message. Which raises an uncomfortable question. As a coach, are you hard or soft?
I do not think you can be both.
A hard coach sticks to their principles. They demand high standards from themselves and from their players. Expectations are clear. Roles are understood. Players know exactly where they stand.
A soft coach wants to be liked. They are quick to change direction if there is friction or discomfort. Principles bend if happiness appears to dip. Decisions are delayed or avoided altogether.
You might detect some bias here. That comes from experience. Hard coaching, done well, is more effective. Progress requires difficult decisions. It sometimes involves frustrating players in the short term to help them improve in the long term.
That does not mean hard coaching is joyless. Quite the opposite. Players enjoy certainty. They respond to clarity and purpose. They train better when they understand where they are heading and why. You will not please everyone all the time. Some days you may please very few. But shared direction builds trust.
This also forces us to define success properly. For me, success includes playing positive, inclusive rugby. It also includes wanting to win. The context matters. At under-10s, you can “win” a half and then reset the challenge. You can change scoring systems, mix teams or redefine the task.
The hard coach is precise about targets. Not “try your best”, which means very little. Instead: what will we do better next, and what must we keep doing well?
If you still fall short, the hard coach states the facts calmly. No sugar-coating. No blame. Just clarity on what happened, what didn’t, and what comes next.
And yes, the hard coach is allowed to smile. When they do, you know it matters.
Good stuff Dan. I tell coaches that there's a big difference between HARD and BAST-HARD - ie being uncompromising on ethics, values, standards is good Hard - confusing that with foul language, training based punishment like doing laps, belittling players, etc is bad Hard. You can be the “hardest” coach in the world and never raise your voice above speaking level.
Catch up soon! WG
Love this Dan.